present day, New Delhi

When One Sip Silences the Screaming Mind

---

There’s a kind of panic that most people don’t understand.
It starts quietly — maybe in the chest, maybe behind the eyes.
And it grows.

You’re not thinking about your job, your kid, your liver, or your bank balance.
You’re thinking about that one thing — the drink you don’t have.

Your body starts whispering lies dressed as urgency.
Your palms sweat. Your thoughts loop.
You walk into the kitchen. Back out. You open WhatsApp, close it. Open again.

The mind has only one demand:
“Get the drink.”

---

Nothing Else Matters

There’s rent due tomorrow. You’ve got ₹143 in the bank.
There’s an EMI bouncing and a call from your boss you’ve been dodging.

The liver? That’s been hurting for months.
You tell yourself it’s gas.

The kid wants help with homework.
Your partner’s eyes carry that same look — tired of worrying, tired of hoping.

But you…
you’re trying to find ₹80 for a quarter bottle.
Everything else can wait. Until you get that drink.

---

That Moment of False Peace

You finally get it.
Maybe you borrowed. Maybe you pawned something. Maybe you lied.
Doesn’t matter.

The bottle’s in your hand.
You crack it open. No glass needed.

That first sip?
It’s not pleasure. It’s relief.
Like finally breathing after holding your breath too long.

The shaking stops.
The anxiety folds itself into the corner.
Your brain whispers: “See? We’re okay now.”

But you’re not okay.
You’re just quiet.
The world is still on fire—you just can’t hear the crackle anymore.

---

The Wallet Is Empty, and So Are You

Let’s talk about those days.

When your wallet’s empty and your priorities are out for auction.
When the medicine can wait.
The electricity bill can wait.
Even your dignity — it waits in line behind the bottle.

You promise yourself: “Just today. Tomorrow, I’ll fix things.”

But tomorrow shows up angry.
With a swollen liver.
An empty house.
A missed birthday.
And still — you reach for another.

---

What Your Liver Wants to Say

Your liver doesn’t yell.
It just absorbs.
Silently. Patiently.

Until one day, it doesn’t.

Until your body starts bloating,
Your energy fades,
Your blood tells the truth you’ve been hiding.

That’s cirrhosis knocking.
Not to judge — just to collect the debt.

---

The Ayurvedic Truth: Your Fire Is Eating You

In Ayurveda, this is a Pitta fire gone wild.
It starts in the mind — as anger, pressure, frustration.
You try to put it out with alcohol.

But alcohol is fire, too.
You’re just adding heat to heat.

The solution?

• Brahmi to calm the mental storm.

• Ashwagandha to soften the stress response.

• Guduchi and Bhumyamalaki to repair what’s left of your liver.

• Triphala to clean out the toxins — physical and emotional.

• And above all: honest company. Satsang.
  People who’ve crawled through this same darkness and lived to tell it.

---

You Are Not Weak. You Are Just Tired.

If you’ve skipped meals to drink, if you’ve lied to someone you love,
if you’ve promised “just this one time” for the thousandth time — you’re not alone.

You’re not broken. You’re stuck.
You’re not heartless. You’re hurting.
And this bottle you keep reaching for?
It’s not helping. It’s just pausing the pain. Not healing it.

There’s another way.
It’s slower.
It’s harder.
But it doesn’t leave you hollow.

---

The Storm Will Pass — Without the Drink

There is a way to silence the storm in your mind without poisoning the rest of your body.

It starts with honesty.
With asking for help.
With choosing one hard truth over a thousand easy lies.

If you’re reading this while fighting that craving…
just pause.
Just breathe.

You’ve survived worse.
You can survive this moment too.

---

Your liver is still listening.
Your people are still waiting.
And somewhere inside you… a part of you still wants to live.

Let’s keep that part alive.